I haven't posted publicly in almost a year. Not for lack of writing... I've written close to a hundred pages since in emotional ramblings and daily journaling.
I haven't posted out of fear of communication. Even if it's communicating via an unacknowledged drifting space on the interwebs... even that was more than I could bear. Ultimately I felt defeated by my own negativity. The way I let it seep into all my writing became embarrassing and private. I suppose it still is... I won't be airing any deeply personal grievances now, either, despite being justifiably weighed down by many.
But it's time to make ripples again. I want to have a voice.
To my mother, thanks to and for whom I lived, I hope you wouldn't have minded me using our last months together as kindling for my work. My time with you was precious and I never knew it. Fortunately I will also never forget it, and I suspect if I don't recount your last months as a kind of biography, the experiences will give life to my wildest fantasies as well.
I love you, I miss you. As always, síochán leat.
